the day after tomorrow

more and more at the moment i am realising how i can't actually do anything myself, without God i am totally paralysed by fears, desires, being distracted by things i want but that i don't need, and a general dissatsfaction with where i am. trusting god for the day after tomorrow, or more often for tomorrow itself sometimes seems so hard, and worry so easy. why is that?

i have been on placement away from bristol monday to friday for just over a month now, and god has shown me his goodness in full measure whilst i have been there. in many ways, it has been one of the best placements i have been on, with friendly staff, good teaching, nice housemates and i have even been touched by grace in the form of a couple of christian docs that i have met - what more could i ask him for? what more could he give me? yet at the moment, i seem to be lacking in gratitude and the adoration i want to be brimming in.....

this weekend has made me think about this stuff a bit more, as my phone is pretty dead as i carelessly left my charger in taunton, so i have had a bit too much time, to get a bit down about all of the above. thankfully after not feeling up for church this morning, i have been told that there's a service this evening, just what i need before i head back to taunton i think, a chance to melt at the feet of the one that i am supposed to be living for? the one who gave me this life to live in the first place..... i'm praying he'll pour out that grace i'm yearning for.

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