ange's musings

So this week as I struggled to take blood from one of our intravenous drug using patients (although let it be known that he has not used for "2 months now") I was left pondering how Jesus would respond to him, react to him, question his behaviour etc. I know that the holy presence of God, Jesus meeting this patient, we will call Joe (not his real name) would convict him of his sin, open his eyes to the deceitfulness of his heart and lead him to true repentance in the truly remarkable way that only Jesus could but I still want to know how he would speak to him and act around him. The fact is that Joe is no different from many of the people Jesus encountered during his 3 year ministry, its just that Joe has a slightly more sophisticated way of anaesthetising himself to life. However, in recent months and through Joe this week I would not ever consider describing the use of intravenous drugs as sophisticated. I can't quite believe the situation I had to deal with trying to

REINSHAW HOUSE, DERBYSHIRE CHATSWORTH HOUSE, DERBYSHIRE LYME PARK, CHESHIRE Having wept through the latter stages of the 2005 (Keira Knightly/Matthew McFadden) version of Pride and Prejudice I have now made it my aim to visit the various stately homes featured in film versions of Jane Austen's classic novel. Thus far I feel I have done so well, having already visited Chatsworth house once in September and again at Christmas. Chatsworth house is thought to be the original inspiration for Austen's creation of Pemberley - the humble abode of Mr. Darcy and it was also used for exterior scenes for Joe Wright's 2005 Keira Knightly version of Pride and Prejudice. So next on my list is Reinshaw Hall, Derbyshire - the setting for Pemberley in the BBC adaptation of Pride and Prejudice from 1980. This glorious black and white film was enjoyed by my elder sisters and I on many an occasion, Mrs Bennett is portrayed fantastically in this version, and it is through this version that I was

Just opposite my house in Nethergreen on the South side of Sheffield sits a little array of shops which I have gradually become familiar with. Two hairdressers Jam and Marmalade (Finest Hairdressers) sit not too far away from each other, a little further up are a couple of upmarket interior design type shops, the sort I haven't yet found myself a reason/excuse to go into yet. Further up there is a lovely, if a little over-priced delicateseen, that always has a great many croissants/pain au chocolat which i have enjoyed on the odd saturday morning with the paper and other special treats, plus great fresh bread. And a little further down is a very local, Indian takeaway, the clay oven. In my usual attempts to avoid getting takeaway I managed to not give into temptation (having lived above a Miss Millies before I found I managed this quite well). But tonight with the return of one of my housemates from a week's work away, we felt sharing in the pleasure of a creamy chicken korma,

Today at church, I was blessed by the fact that on Friday at a half night of prayer, some of the leaders had been prompted to show practically God's love for his church, so today this looked like a red rose for each and every woman in the church. What a blessing! Today it sits in a glass jar in the kitchen, a reminder that God first loved us and today, just as the sun every day rises and sets so His love for us is renewed every day. Thank you God

1. Doing a job that more obviously demonstrates service, compassion, willingness to care for others doesn't actually mean that you will feel like doing any or all of these things any or all of the the time. 2. Being in a new city but in your home country is probably not any less lonely at times or less likely to make you homesick than being in a new city on the other side of the world. 3. Change does not equals growth - i obviously knew this one already but actually experiencing it makes the reality of the truth sharper. 4. God still forgives and forgets and loves despite how hard I can make it to receive his love.

I was reminded of Thomas Merton's prayer below when reading Dan Wilt's blog (a Canadian worship leader) and although I don't feel I am able to fully pray this prayer I want to be able to and thank God that that last sentence is always true. “My Lord God I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that my desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope that I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.”

Just trying to bring myself up-to-date with the last 6 months and in a rather awfully convoluted fashion have brought myself to December which I can say was colder than I am used to in Bristol just by a few degrees. It seemed to fly by really, was nice to share celebrating it with a few friends in sheffield, the Senior family at the lovely and legendary Christmas party, my cell group and friends from work. One first year doctor, organised a christmas do for us. This was a real mission, as people who work with me in Chesterfield live in Derby, Sheffield and Nottingham due to medical rotations varying quite a lot! January was an interesting month. In it I realised that the job I started in November had been quite emotionally/mentally stressful and draining for lots of reasons. Unfortunately I typically don't think I had fully acknowledged it and one Sunday night it all came out on the phone to my dad as I realised it was all too much. God really lifted me out of that. And now I'