ange's musings

so today i have completely flaked out - its quite unbelievable but after all my written exams yesterday i just really needed to - feeling a bit guilty about lack of work but i am sure tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day will make up for that. what was most exciting is that i booked a short holiday for late june, after my job shadowing with my good friend liz here .i cannot actually believe we will be reading books (of a non-medical variety), lazing on beaches, cycling, enjoying some good wine and generally relaxing, with no agenda - i only wish it was for more than 3 night! ha ha.... i can't believe i managed to complain at the end of that! i know, i know i have nothing to complain about! am in fact feeling oh so very thankful at the mo - its a good feeling!

Born to blind parents, William Fitzsimmons has come up trumps with his second album "Goodnight". Admittedly the lyrics are quite sad at times, as he writes a lot about the break up and divorce of his parents during his adolescence, and he's honest - but that honesty makes truly beautiful tunes. Plus his beardy image makes him look pretty interesting too! Click here to share in the auditory delight.

So as the post title indicates it is late or early (?!) and I am wide awake! It seems that recently although I have been hitting the hay after midnight, I have been waking up for no apparent reason just a few hours later, anytime between 0200 and 0600. So this morning I lay awake and decide to listen to some "Lifehouse" songs and ponder..... well its not hard to do friends - my diurnal clock is totally dead right now. So as I do this, I think about Psalm 121 , a favourite of mine, and one a good friend reminded me of in a text yesterday; I look up the following verse: He who watches over Israel never sleeps or slumbers Psalm 121: 4 So God, He never sleeps, He never slumbers - what does He get up to then? Hmmm - ange, big thoughts - i know that's what you're thinking - err NOT! You are thinking ange - get back to bed and let God do His not sleeping thing - He does it so I don't have to I guess. But tonight, this morning I am quite happy to join him - it is in

today i break the 3 month mute on my blog (me? - mute? - yes really, very, very.....mute) with this..... courtesy of Ben Folds "Still fighting it" enjoy i am x ps if you fancy seeing him live join me on Sun 13th July, Carling Academy Bristol, BRING IT ON!

more and more at the moment i am realising how i can't actually do anything myself, without God i am totally paralysed by fears, desires, being distracted by things i want but that i don't need, and a general dissatsfaction with where i am. trusting god for the day after tomorrow, or more often for tomorrow itself sometimes seems so hard, and worry so easy. why is that? i have been on placement away from bristol monday to friday for just over a month now, and god has shown me his goodness in full measure whilst i have been there. in many ways, it has been one of the best placements i have been on, with friendly staff, good teaching, nice housemates and i have even been touched by grace in the form of a couple of christian docs that i have met - what more could i ask him for? what more could he give me? yet at the moment, i seem to be lacking in gratitude and the adoration i want to be brimming in..... this weekend has made me think about this stuff a bit more, as my phone is pr

enjoying her sound currently, especially after forgetting my laptop in taunton mid-week...how i coped for 5 whole nights without sound waves i don't know.... in fact, right now her "good night and go" is my ring tone - basically because nothing quite met "gymnopedie" by satie which was on my old handset and seemed to be appreciated by all who heard it - for its relaxing sound. there's something obviously slight unusual about having a ring tone, which is not stressful to listen to, i haven't quite found anything to meet Satie, but am enjoying Imogen Heap, and for friend's and family's sake its probably a good change, us i am definitely quicker to answer the phone than i ever was with the slow pace of Satie!!! Whoops!

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts" Seems God is really wanting to write these words on my heart, as this week I have been confronted with the fact that I need to say farewell to Bristol and move to the East Midlands for 2 years, namely Nottinghamshire, Derbyshire and Lincolnshire. Yep, you've got it, I have been allocated a job (through the lottery of MTAS) for the first two years of my training in these areas, I don't yet know where specifically. I have to admit I would not have planned it this way and I am disappointed. But I am trying to believe in my heart that if that's God's plan, its the best plan. I spent most of yesterday trying to rapidly conform my will to his, hoping that I would feel better about the move. I am getting there slowly - I have a headache from lots of te

You will go before me You will clear a path for me You will be there for me You will... ...because it's Your will It's not my will So I won't worry but I will trust in You

According to a man i have a lot of respect for. One thing which really got to my heart was what he said about his calling: My wife has been told many times that at any point, she is more important to me than “the dream.” Even if I think that dream is God’s will, or the next big step to our future, if my wife is not on board, she knows that she will always win. I can trust God to take care of the dream, if I take care of my wife. Dan has been married twenty years so I think he speaks from a rock of experience that I can respect, we can use. God is gracious, marriage is his gift. Of course he wants it honoured above that big dream, why do we always get that mixed up. Thank you Dan Wilt for sharing your wisdom. On another note, sadly in recent days i have been noticing a lot of these....... .... dead christmas trees - i know they're out for recycling but surely there is a better solution to the annual worship of the decorated dead evergreen, only evergreen when still with roots guys!

....its hard to concentrate with this man's voice on the auditory receptors. i need his album soon. click on the picture to listen to joshua radin and then i reckon probably buy!

When I was in Chile, enjoying a short break on the Chilean side of the Andes ski-ing, I met one extra special ski-instructor. His name escapes me, but this guy taught people with physical disabilities to ski in Colorado. These disabilities included partial sight, limb amputations (sometimes of both). He also worked with a lot of injured men from the recent conflicts in Iraq. Today on the timesonline website I watched this Video of such men overcoming the huge obstacles in their way, as they go through physical and emotional rehabilitation. The last few sentences of the article provided huge insight. He goes on to recount how his American instructor had led him down the slalom course that morning. “If she’d gone wrong, I’d have gone wrong,” he says. “If she’d hit a post, I’d have hit a post. If she’d fallen, I’d have fallen. But we crossed the line together. That, in my opinion, sums up the special relationship.” Taken from timesonline In reading this I remembered the friend I met in C

Today I realised that it has only been 11 weeks since I moved into my current home, with Helen in Horfield. Definitely had my teething problems at the start and realised how stressful it can be to move house and also the responsibility that comes with owning a place - I am glad I don't have it. Also feel a bit like Helen's patience is wearing thin and that she might secretly be counting down the days till I am on placement in Taunton and therefore not around Monday to Friday. That sounds really awful that I would think that, but I know we have had a few hiccups including one today, which mortifyed me as much as it did Helen. Unfortunatley in the last few weeks, the winter snap has resulted in the wooden front door expanding so a previous single pull of the door closed it quite firmly. Now, however it sticks. So a couple of times upon arriving into the house I have not shut the door completely because it has stuck. This has been okay (not of course ideal) because I have been in

Taken from Children's Letters Hample and Marshall Dear God, I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday. That was cool. Eugene. Dear God I don't every feel alone since I found out about you. Nora Dear God, I am doing the best I can. Frank. Adults don't often write stuff more profound than these kids. Recently I have been resonating with much of what a newly discovered (thank you to mark and martin) and already beloved band have to say about life and living. There name is Mutemath . Here's a tiny taster for you taken from the song Chaos. I know you stay true when my world is false. Had a lovely visit from katie today who helped me set my blog up so that I can now easily get to all my friend's blogs. She has just got back from 2 months in Syria and was sharing with me her routine there and giving me a word picture of Damascus. It is amazing to me that it is now a predominantly Islam country despite being entirely Christ

check it out here what a great book, what a greater God.

You shall not go out with haste,... for the Lord will go before you... ISAIAH 52:12 God is the God of our yesterdays. It is true that we have lost opportunities that will never return, but God can transform this destructive anxiety into a constructive thoughtfulness for the future. Let the past rest, but let it rest in the sweet embrace of Christ. Leave the broken, irreversible past in His hands, and step out into the invincible future with Him.