ange's musings

So, tomorrow ends my cafe experience. The beautiful place I work, filled with wonderful folk of literally all ages closes this friday - a sad end of an era for me. Okay, yes I have only been there 2 months, but its funny how rustling up a really good mocha, and topping it with chocolate loveliness can be a procedure that one takes great pride in, after a month of doing it so so much. And I am just realising how I am going to froth milk, more than I think is healthy! Hmmm - future posts may contain pics of me doing this exact thing, just to ensure I don't forget that its real, I did do this. Getting into a new rhythm this December is certainly going to be challenging. I am excited for what God has in store, and of course very apprehensive - and I am remembering how it wasn't always a smooth running working at the cafe and that I actually took a while to feel vaguely at home there, so whatever lies ahead is not going to be necessarily easier. Especially if unemployment, may be on...

Mark Churchill in my life - really I am mate, not just writing this cuz I now know you read it all Liz's return - my lovely co-lodger, friend, sister - can't believe you are here with me till March! :-) big smiles due for that Bristol - the fact that more and more it does feel like home Old friends - being able to visit them and have them visit, that our friendships are being maintained, maybe less than I would want, but still they are being maintained and valued Music - in all forms. Live, compact disc style, produced by my larynx and other people's, whistling music, solo and collective forms, song and the silences inbetween - oh the silences in the music - don't they add something amazing? Laughter Laughter More laughter My co-workers at Cafe Unlimited - only for another 4 working days :( Sleep and rest - that we were made to do both Family - that we reflect each other, that we share an identity Memories - good and bad Autumn - trip to westonbirth arboretum is definit...

Just listened to Paul Weller's Thinking of You on a really great compliation called Acoustic a friend bought me for secret santa, last Christmas. The lyrics, are pretty classic and I was thinking how as much as I may pine for intimacy with anyone and no one in particular (gosh does that make me sound fickle, or fickle right now?!), the one above wants my all and wants me to think of him, learn hime, think about all the things i can't do without him and love him for it. At the mo, I am wanting that deeper intimacy yet not feeling able to touch it beyond the void, a void, a great chasm which is all that seems tangible right now. I want him to fill me up, but He seems distant, and its painful, more painful that I feel able to deal with. I want to learn him, I do and I know he is thinking of me far more that I ever think of him. So why does it feel so hard to learn him? What am I doing wrong? I think I need to ask the one who knows.....

One night, I had a wondrous dream; One set of footprints there was seen. The footprints of my precious Lord, But mine were not along the shore. But then some stranger prints appeared, And I asked the Lord, "What have we here?" "Those prints are large and round and neat, But, Lord, they are too big for feet." "My child," He said in somber tones. "For miles I carried you alone. I challenged you to walk in faith, But you refused and made me wait. You disobeyed, you would not grow, The walk of-faith you would not know. So I got tired and fed up, And there I dropped you on your butt, Because in life, there comes a time, When one must fight, and one must climb, When one must rise and take a stand, Or leave their butt prints in the sand."

Sun 1st - Tues 3rd October 2006 Our trip to Dartmoor. We stayed in a lovely barn, in the middle of no where. Here are the lovely ladies; Becki, Ansy and Casey waiting for Mark to cook us up a storm!

So today, I had a lot of fun window shopping.....and yes I did manage to just look and not buy! I only spent 80 pence on 2 picks to help me master guitar strumming, plucking etc and 39p on milk. I personally believe that my ability today to resist the temptations of fashion was really quite a triumph. Now that is partly due to the nature of my weaknesses, in other words, the fact that my security can often be placed in the way I look, or the way I think I look. Not a great place for it to be located, and especially when I am trying to avoid spending money in Broadmead shopping centre, when it seems like just about everyone around you is! But not only did today highlight to me the reasons why I may or may not spend money on items of clothing, and how they are not always so good and healthy. It also helped me realise the immense power of advertising and how it literally can and does manipulate you into buying those much needed items right? You know those things, items of clothing, gadget...