ange's musings

America suffers an epidemic of suicides among traumatised army veterans This is really happening in the nation with the most provision and resources to help these men. And yet we seem to think that enforcing our nation's politics on others brings life and not death, equality and not inequality, health and not ill-health. This sad irony as in all of history is falling on innocent lives, how have we been allowed to be unaware/ignorant of these stats for so long, they have been swept under the rug just like all the other truths and real outcomes of the Iraqi war. "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, or the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy." Proverbs 31

we have been raised with Christ. AMEN - thanks http://www.licc.org.uk/

woolgathering \WOOL-gath-(uh)-ring\, noun: Indulgence in idle daydreaming. I don't normally pay much attention to word of the day, as I have enough words to be attempting to lodge in my memory in medicine, but I was intrugued by today's word. Glad I looked it up, as I like it. Think I may try and drop it in conversation occasionally. The way this guy used it on word of the day website makes me smile. Similarly, in the meadow, if you laze too late into the fall, woolgathering, snow could fill your mouth.-- Edward Hoagland, "Earth's eye", Sierra , May 1999

i just searched google images for a picture of 'morning' and it brought up this and i like it! so here it is.

so today at 1236pm i am in bed enjoying a very long drawn out morning session, breakfast in bed was quite an indulgence, a read of the paper and a lovely long time to read and reflect before i get down to work - what more could one want? well the view of a gloriously golden glow of a tree, majestic in it's Autumn colours right outside my window, with a clear blue sky all around it is frankly more than a girl could wish for on a Saturday. looking forward to enjoying this weekend, just planning on catching up with work and cooking for lovely friends this evening which will be nice, already thinking about what music i want to listen to whilst cooking, a very important detail. recently i guess i have been thinking about how kind God really is to us, so incredibly kind. not only has he done a finished work, that means that i am seen by him in the light of JC's glory but he also continues to shine his spiritual beauty through nature, through the singing of birds in the morning, throu...

This one's for your Tristan!

On my way home I decided to walk through St. Andrews park, what a wonderful decision that ended up being. Walking around the park looking at the trees glorious in their colour and strong in their trunks and roots was really amazing, how they faithfully grow and plant their roots so firmly in the ground. The Sun was out and it was a beautiful moment - made me feel whelmed to be ALIVE!

here is my own little version.... round here, leaves turn colours beautiful, wind blows blustily, clouds move overhead, yet faces remain the same, round here. people walk and tick off the stuff on their "to do" list satisfied by the simple pleasure of getting things done, round here, the issue seller smiles again as he waits for some attention, some grace round here. round here, Joe's bakery croissants arrive on countless breakfast tables and are munched down with the guardian again before hitting the shops or the gym for another Saturday's downtime round here round here preparation for advent starts before bonfire night present shopping already on people's mind tree sellers already advertising through my post box round here, there's one thing on people's mind round here, the birth of the one who split time in two is forgotten amidst our yearly traditions who has time for the one who is outside time round here round here strangers are not really greeted as...

waiting, so we're all doing it, even if we don't know what we're waiting for. recently i have really been thinking about waiting, and how bad i am at it. it seems my arrogance shouts at god's sovereignity a little too much and i guess i currently feel angry with him for all the waiting, why can a week feel like a month when we're earthbound and feel we are waiting, i know in eternity, it will be a mere speckle in the timeline of my eternal life, and yet here, now i couldn't be more of a complainer, couldn't be more discontent with all the waiting. this sounds so pathetic, and maybe actually it kinda is! i know you are wondering, what i feel that i am waiting for, and to be honest i am not quite sure i could even tell you. i am obviously wanting something/s to change in my life and uncomfortable and discontent with how they are yet not yet in the phase of grasping a vision for the future, rather i feel that sometimes life can just feel like it is one long wai...

Just realised that this Sunday is the last one of October and therefore time to change our clocks back. Think this page on the bbc website does well to explain why and also provide interesting facts like the fact that 1 in 20 people can suffer with seasonal affective disorder. Not surprising really, I think its just when you don't expect to lose that hour that it can hit hardest, but we know that we odd British people do this each year, so really we should be alright, right? Plus isn't Iceland living in darkness half the year? We have enjoyed some lovely later Autumn evenings and I am thankful for those, so until the last Sunday in March I guess we start hibernating indoors - just kidding.

Had a lurverly day today just chilling and pottering and managing to while away the hours as I do. Ended up having lunch with my sister at the Tinto which was a good chance to catch up with all her housing antics and touch base. Its funny how we're both in the same city but move in such different circles, but I love having her around nowadays and being able to meet up if free, because we both live so close to one another - luckily we are both not very into planning our days vigorously so can generally drop things to catch up over a quick coffee. The best thing about seeing her today was that we have decided to meet up tomorrow for tennis, a more demanding rendezvous but still a good time for catching up I realised last week - its great you feel like you are raising your heart rate and its not just because of good news to tell each other! mind you, that just shows that we only have time to chat because our tennis balls are flying a lot slower than the crazy ones at wimbledon with fe...

I'm now 2 weeks back from Chile. Last weekend I enjoyed a walk across the gorge with good friends, the wind in my hair and an unusually high river, it was nice to be back in familiarity and be thankful for the beauty of the city i live in, one that i enjoyed sharing my fondness of in Chile. Its nice to have some pride for the place that you live in, not just the city, but the attitudes of people and the good things your city is doing. I think that is what excites me most about my current home and i need to remind myself to not take it for granted. being back, has also made me realise what a challenge this year is going to be in terms of physical stamina, doing via last year certainly challenged me in other ways but not physically, or at least i didn't choose to. and after a 13 month break from medicine, busy schedules, mental tiredness and early starts i must say i am struggling rather, and although also enjoying (a little) the change i am finding it hard, and having to trust ...

So its kind of a long story, but this week I have been fortunate enough to enjoy a couple of days off and as well as enjoying the celebration of Chile's independence 140 years ago and learning lots about South America's history I have also managed to come to Portillo and am staying in the lodge pictured above, whilst working on parallel turning and hanging out with Susan, a friend I met in one of the Santiago vineyard churches. So ski-ing is cool and i am totally glad i have come but i have to say i think i much prefer ski trips shared with friends cuz day to day life in a ski resort like portillo is pretty sad. Susan is quite ready for a break from working here in October, when ski season comes to an end and I can totally understand why. For instance today I met the only British guy here, who is basically in charge of avalanche management - if you can really manage them , he basically skis around the resort all day checking stuff is safe and he has been here for 11 years and...

so i´m here in Vitacura, a fairly middleclass, upmarket part of Santiago, Chile, Sud America. i arrived last friday and have had quite an introduction into Chilian culture, being greeted with the warmest of latino welcomes and the coldest of seasons. Here in Chile they are experiencing one of the coldest winters in the last 30 years. Spring is on the way, September I hope it comes fast. its been a wierd transition to be honest, as i have just had a really great summer in bristol, my home. I´ve just really enjoyed being and God definitely blessed me with lots of fun times and good memories, I think leaving that behind and feeling quite disconnected has been harder than I anticipated, but already i am starting to believe that this time away will be good, will involve so many new experiences and gifts. already i have had the joy of hearing stories of so many people´s lives and how they came to know real life, the real gift that i and them know and live out according to his grace. several ...

i realise that this is quite a crazy title for a post but its kinda how i feel i want to be right now or that i actually am deep down somewhere, but i am worried that its long and lost and may be lost forever. okay, so please excuse the drama for a few more seconds - i promise i am not having a moment. i think i am just having a reaction to the way that society demands for us to do something with our lives that fits into these boundaries of appropriateness and usefulness and whats successful and what's not and frankly its only by grace that i happen to be training to be someone who has good standing in society and an amazing income and all this stuff which i don't think is right that i get, whilst a woman down the road has ended up with a completely different role in society and a corresponding sense of being an outlier/outcast or whatever..... wild and untameable are adjectives that people in the west just don't want applied to themselves but that is completely what i want...

i'm in a transition phase which has actually been really good because until this week it has not really felt like transition. after 'via' ended on 22nd July I had two weeks of meeting up with old friends in Bristol and Bath and just hanging out. also got a new car which was very exciting and started to enjoy a new found independence, which is pretty cool. i just kind of let loose for a couple of weeks, and enjoyed some of our lovely British Summer. Think the most exciting time was on Sunday July 29th in Bath where Matt, Jacqui, Paul and I attended a guitar concert by Thomas Leeb and Stuart Ryan - two of the most talented Acoustic Guitarists in Europe - it was actually a divine experience and I wish I could listen to them every week for two hours!!! Since then I have been spending 3-4 days a week in Southmead hospital Medical Admissions Unit trying to remember what it is like to be a medical student! 'Trying' really is the operative word - as I certainly have a lot o...

thats what i have been up today and it has been so goooood, such a good day. the kind that makes me so thankful to be alive TODAY! quite ironic really cuz if i just looked at the potential its fairly bad weather outside especially for june 30th (my american friend casey is probably crying over it as i write!) and really i haven't any huge exciting plans today, but its just one of those days, when life makes me smile! lots! basically ended up making a wee pink and white bracelet for 4 year old laura who i live with who is at her birthday party right now - bella of the ball, she looked so cute in her pink fairy dress as she left today. knitting can only be explained in the fact that i have been knitting a baby blanket for my new niece isabelle rose gooding for too long, and to be honest she'll probably have learnt to knit herself by the time i finish it!!!! but the fact i managed to do some is a miracle in itself cuz i can only do it when chatting with friends or watching a movie...

watch and remember

Prayers like gravel Flung at the sky's window, hoping to attract the loved one's attention . . . R.S Thomas still slowly reading and thinking about prayer a lot at the moment. i loved this quote from yancey's book, placed at the beginning of the chapter entitled 'why pray?' ultimately the chapter pretty much rounds up that we pray becauses jesus prayed. the time when he wept tears of blood was not on the way to golgatha or during his agonizing death but in the garden of gethsemane as he prayed - that was where the action was for jesus, so i think thats where i want to be most passionate too. jesus also prayed very little for himself but rather more for others - a challenge for sure! as yancey states although jesus prayed lots, his prayers as god in human form didn't remove the 'unknown and unpredictable elements' in his life. the disciples regularly surprised and dissappointed him - think about judas and peter. yet somehow those unpredictable elements a...

been reading this really great book called 'the bumps are what you climb on' - its just got lots of little chapters of encouragement. today's was the last one and quite rightly was challenging us about our contentment and where we get it from. do i get it from my circumstances or am i more like paul? "there is not growth without challenge, and there is no challenge without change. if our lives are going to be isolated and insulated we will never face any challenges, but this means we will never have opportunities to mature. for mature people, life is a battleground, but they are willing to face the battles and, by faith, win the victories. for immature people, life is a playground; and they want to avoid battles but this means they hever have the joy of winning victories and growing in the lord" challenging stuff hey? recently i have been thinking a lot about my contentment and i know this year more than any other year of my short life so far i have had to face th...