ange's musings

It is 06:53am and I am almost done with my fifth night shift of seven and feeling good. Its actually been a pleasure doing nights this week (astonishing I know) and in many ways I am kind of wishing it was not so long before my next run - day shifts seem so routine, and its easy to feel like you are on the treadmill of life, doing 9 t0 5 or 8 to 4 as I am. This week I feel like I have noticed God's grace in small and secret ways, been blessed with a peace as I have walked the empty corridors of the hospital from ward to ward and generally enjoyed myself. Of course my plain laziness and general love of bed means sleeping in the day hasn't been a big problem either. Oh and how I was anticipating these 7 nights with a very real lack of delight...what a different experience to a night shift in a UK hospital. Don't worry I will spare the compare and contrast.

S ince flying across the oceans I have been introduced to the musical talent of Brooke Fraser (thanks to my flatmate Mel). She is a kiwi who has made it successfully across the globe. What I love about her stuff is how true she remains to her faith in God. She supported John Meyer on his tour after his fi rst album 'heavier things' but you wouldn't know it because her songs take on a different theme, about a different kind of love than that that Meyer sings of. Here are the lyrics and video of her CS Lewis inspired song. If I find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy,  I can only conclude that I was not made for here  If the flesh that I fight is at best only light and momentary,  then of course I'll feel nude when to where I'm destined I'm compared  Speak to me in the light of the dawn  Mercy comes with the morning  I will sigh and with all creation groan  As I wait for hope to come for me  Am I lost or just less found?  On the straight or on the...

I've been staring at the sky tonight Marvelling and passing time Wondering what to do with daylight Until I can make you mine You are the one I want, you are the one I want I've been thinking of changing my mind It never stays the same for long But of all the things I know for sure You're the only certain one You are the one I want, you are the one I want I've been counting up all my wrongs One sorry for each star See I'd apologise my way to you  If the heavens stretched that far You are the one I want, you are the one I want I won't find what I am looking for If I only "see" by keeping score 'Cos I know now you are so much more than arithmetic 'Cos if I add, if I subtract If I give it all, try to take some back I've forgotten the freedom that comes from the fact That you are the sum So you are the one I want When the years are showing on my face And my strongest days are gone When my heart and flesh depart this place From a life that sung ...

So it is the 1st September 2009, day 29 since I arrived in NZ. I have moved into a home with Mel and Bev, daughter and mother, co-landlords and girls that are becoming great friends. They have welcomed me, oozed generosity and just generally been amazing. I was put in touch with them through a girl called Clare, who worked here at the hospital 2 years ago and lived with them. The radical part is (yes, radical is a word I realised today I have started using - Mel uses it in a shortened version 'rad') that Clare and her husband have just moved to KwaZulu Natal, South Africa to work there. When she emailed me and Mel each other's details all the way from SA, Mel was in Thailand with work and I was in Christchurch. The previous week Mel had put an advert in a local cafe for the room. Initially she had specified she was looking for a 'Christian' housemate and then decided to cross it out despite her possible real hopes for a fellow crispy for her and Bev to live with. In...

Apparently Taylor a Captain or crew member of a ship travelling from Australia came in a little too North and landed at what is now known as  Taylors Mistake Beach.  He believed it to be Lyttleton harbour which is the main harbour of Christchurch where the first pioneers landed or so goes the story. It seems a rather vague one and no one knows quite whether Taylor was just a member of a crew or a captain but regardless of the extent of the truth of the story the name has stuck. I live about a twenty minute walk from this beach which has breath-taking view all around - took myself down there yesterday for the afternoon with wildly ambitious plans to read and pray but ended up doing some idle lying in the sun. The lack of cloud cover in NZ seems to mean that you really do need your sunglasses - have never quite experienced that feeling of your eyes being overwhelmed by the brightness before yesterday. Although I have no camera I just discovered an application called 'photo booth'...

I feel like I should be embarrassed about the fact that I watched 27 dresses  for the third time this evening and enjoyed it more than my first time but I am of course completely not! I particularly like that through the film I encountered a song I actually love by Elton John and Bernie Taupin composed in 1976 - slightly before my time I guess hence the late listen. I think the main reason I like it is because it sets up a great scene between Katherine Heigl and James Marsden. Heigl is an absolutely amazing actress which helps me like this movie than I might otherwise - if you haven't seen her talent rent Grey's Anatomy out. How music can bring people together - gotta'  love a good song.

 Just wanted to say thank you to those of you who have been reading and praying for me, it warms my heart to think of loved ones back home when in such a new land and I wanted to share a few of the dozen or so answered prayers. First of all have moved to a new home with a view that of the ocean which on my first morning brought me to look upon Psalm 65 and the verses below: You answer us with awesome deeds of righteousness, O God our Saviour, the hope of all the ends of the earth and of the farthest seas... When I went to Nepal 4 years ago my housemate for those 2 months left that verse in my room and today I am comforted by its truth again today. Feeling incredibly spoilt and overwhelmed by the fact that not only am I living in this rather unbelievable location but also managed to pick up a car for 800 pounds which actually seems like an amazing car - considering it is 18 years old - talk about the impossible becoming possible. Also starting to meet people in church one of which is go...

Am sitting in an internet cafe in Christchurch city centre which is a place I have come to frequent since I landed here just 9 days ago at noon. That was a day filled with excitment, apprehension a bit more adrenaline and clear blue skies - I was thinking today about how filled with energy I was not so very long ago. More recently I have felt like decisions (although totally believing they were right, God-led and just the next part of my journey) made may have been done in a naivety and although prayer-filled I may not have considered the full blown somewhat harsh realities I would face when moving somewhere so new and different. In short this has been a hard week and I am sad that I have had a lot of self-doubt and still do so early on but knowing that I have a bunch of people praying for me and a God who is God of the impossible helps me look ahead with hope and a confidence not from within me. The experience so far has definitely opened my eyes to how easily I have forgotten the for...

Just found this amazing website whilst procrastinating all the awful bloomin' packing up of stuff I seem to be doing every bloomin' 12 months for the last 7. It cheered me up no end. Bring on the NZ VW campervan adventure previously only in my dreams but maybe one day it will be made reality. Bring it on! Whoop whoooooop

GOOD BYE... HELLO.......... LAND OF THE MAORI.

Tonight I went to the second night of three nights of a healing conference at my current church in Sheffield. I am cutting to the chase to let whoever reads this know that tonight my previously curved spine (scoliosis) which has not only given me a leg length discrepancy to adapt to (until tonight my left leg has always been longer than my right) but also intermittent lumbar and thoracic back pain since the age of 21 has been healed. I sit here today at my desk with both feet firmly on the ground, equal in length, my pelvis totally head on and perpendicular to my lumbar spine and my entire spine completely straightened by the power of the Holy Spirit. I didn't even plan on asking God to heal this and went to church tonight with no or low expectations. Tonight God chose to heal me because He loves me and to heal me of something I never even really bothered about but accepted as part of my body! How amazing is my father that He chooses to heal even the things we do not see as a burde...

So as I am leaving my lovely house share in Sheffield next weekend my housemates are in the process of trying to find my replacement. Although there are currently just 3 of them, it seems agreeing on a housemate of choice is proving rather difficult. For example, tonight was a classic example. Like many nights in recent weeks someone came to meet us all, he'd already looked round on Monday and met housemate A and myself. I loved him. He has a phd and is working at Sheffield Uni, doing some absolutely fascinating research that is related to healthcare which is obviously going to float my boat. Difficult to please housemate A thought he was adorable on Monday and still does today - result! Normally easy to please housemate B on today's impression alone thought he was difficult to have conversation with and didn't offer a lot up of himself to chat about.... or something along those lines. Housemate C is normally indifferent and predictably was tonight. Thankfully housemate A...

Feisty - 3 dictionary results –adjective, feist⋅i⋅er, feist⋅i⋅est. 1. full of animation, energy, or courage; spirited; spunky; plucky: The champion is faced with a feisty challenger. 2. ill-tempered; pugnacious. 3. troublesome; difficult: feisty legal problems. Origin: 1895–1900, Americanism; feist + -y 1 Related forms: feist⋅i⋅ly, adverb feist⋅i⋅ness, noun Feisty - 3 thesaurus results Main Entry: feisty Part of Speech: adjective Definition: spirited; touchy Synonyms: active , alive , bubbly , courageous , difficult , enthusiastic , excitable, fiery , frisky , full of pep, game , gritty, gutsy, gutty, high-strung, hot-blooded, lively , mettlesome, ornery , peppy , quarrelsome, scrappy, sensitive , spunky , thin-skinned, tough , truculent , zestful Courtesy of http://www.dictionary.com/ Having spent a little time remindng myself of this adjective's meaning I have thus decided she was paying me a compliment.

...I will be aboard a very large Boeing Quantas non-stop flight direct to Sydney, Australia where I will be meeting my lovely Australian cousin John to head to Canberra, the political capital and home of my dear aunties, uncles and cousins who rather than moving to Blighty chose the ruggedness of Oz. Couldn't quite believe it when I was sharing that realisation with friends at work today but I guess sometimes things come upon us and although we have been anticipating them for so long, we still don't feel ready for them. Life since God stole my heart more than 7 years ago has almost definitely been an adventure. I have had huge highs and massive lows but Jesus has been enough all along. Just knowing I have had and will always have Jesus through everything has made it all worthwhile....which I guess is why I know that whatever awaits me in NZ and OZ doesn't only wait me but will await me and God because I with him together, will tackle this new season in my life. Gpd really ...

"Art is a lie which makes us see the truth". Pablo Picasso "Is it not strange that sheep's guts should hale souls out of men's bodies?" William Shakespeare speaking of the playing of a stringed musical instrument. "Chords are better than speech". John Rees, The Sky is Blue. "Beauty is truth, truth beauty - that is all ye know on earth, and all ye need to know". John Keats "Now let us do something beautiful for God" Mother Theresa, 1910-1997, Albanian missionary

Last week my passport arrived in the post complete with a work visa to be an RMO (resident medical officer in Cantberbury District, Christchurch hospital, NZ). Its an odd feeling when all the prayers you have uttered and asked others to pray for all the little (somewhat trivial in teh grand scheme of life) things have been answered abundantly and graciously, with plenty of tiem to spare before pending deadlines. Today, I should be at house group but I am exhausted, shattered, so tired I had a long and scary blink on the way home in the car - no idea why I am so tired but think planning for the next few months, the next academic year has resulted in a lack of rest in the present. I have just had a feeling that I need to be constantly seeing friends, saying farewells and making the effort all that bit more. I am already going to be missing 3 weddings (that I know about) during my year working oversease, and a close friend recently got engaged and of course has let me know she has a date ...

For many years now, every week I receive two emails from the London Institute of Contemporary Christianity (LICC). One arrives on a Monday morning, with insightful ideas on how to live from a Biblical perspective, second email arrives on Friday and usually before noon raising various issues, local or global, always relevant and thought-provoking. Sometimes the issues raised are too complex for my little brain to tinkle over alone so I thought I would share Nigel Hopper's thoughts with you from Friday 19th June. Broadband, Narrow Vision? From the coordination via social networking websites of protests in Iran, to the phasing out of textbooks in favour of online learning resources in California, to your viewing of this article wherever you are in the world, Internet technology has changed the way we live. And, whether you think it for better or worse, it will continue to do so. Indeed, such is the pace of technological advance that the remarkable now quickly becomes commonplace, an...

Since before I was born my native land of Srilanka has been in civil war. Today it was announced that Prabhakaran the leader of the Tamil Tigers has been shot dead resulting in much celebration on the streets of Colombo. For me and many others I know that this celebration seems slightly premature, this article entitled; The Tigers are beaten but it isn't over yet has some observations in it that are helpful in understanding exactly why peace in Srilanka seems to me not yet tangible. Tight restrictions on jounalism within Srilanka's war zones means much civilian death remains unreported. The government may claim victory today and believe their military efforts to be rewarded and even justified in the death of this terrorist leader but at what human cost?

After a rather lazy lie in till almost ten o'clock, some yummy Special-K with soya milk (sweeter than regular milk), Rachel's organic lemon and orange yoghurt (very, very rich, my treat at the weekend and healthier than pain au chocolat) followed by some internet shopping (brought some bargainous EMU boots, reduced by thirty quid - will probably have to return them, as they probably won't fit right but still exciting - I know I have an addiction here), I am about to pack for a short stay in London town with my lovely friend Liz. Having both graduated last June we've not managed to see each other all year, despite our great plans of quarterly weekends spent having spa treatments and I am excited about seeing her and hoping we will have a good dose of quality time together, we have so much to catch up on! What I am not looking forward to is time spent on the london underground; pictured above the tube map makes my mind boggle and the gift of travel seems more like a burde...

Click on the picture to view the rest of the photos from my trip to New York during easter week this April. Above and below are pictures of the flatiron - possibly my favourite skyscraper. I love how dynamic the picture is below; taken on a Friday lunchtime when Yankees were in full flow, it totally gives you a feel of the city and reminds me of that big apple buzz. Here are a few of my favourite memories: Fabulous views from the top of the Empire State Building Sharing sushi in Queens with Liesl Stumbling across the Jimmy Choo store and dieing to go in Spending hours in MACY's Watching yankees go by in Central Park One very sweet breakfast with Liesl and Jonothan in Sanfords, Queens Seeing Art a the MoMA (Museum of Modern Art) - Yankees love their acronyms A few things I want to tackle next time will be doing New York by night, Greenwich Village, Top of the Rockerfeller and seeing a band or artist I love live in a uber fun venue.